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:J.A.T.Z. --- Jatz Ain't a Text Zine                             Edited by Tann:
:                           Issue #005                                         :
:                           Useless Dogs                           May 17, 2004:
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1-Useless Dogs
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I have great respect for dogs that are used to hunt food. But it's beyond my 
comprehension why anyone would own a poodle. Anyone who owns a poodle needs to
have a 12-gauge shotgun loaded with #000 buckshot stuck up their ass and fired
multiple times. Then the worthless, shit-eating, hair shedding, barking, piece
of shit poodle should be locked in the basement with plenty of water and the 
body of their owner. The poodle can be left to choose between starving to death
or eating its owner and starving to death later. Or maybe we should do it the 
other way around. Who cares. Poodles suck and their owners are fags. The only
people I know who own poodles are Michael Jackson, Christopher Cross, and EBA.
If you see a poodle, do the fuckin' world a favor and set some antifreeze out
for it. Though it might be hard to do this to a poodle cause all their stupid
fuckin' owners keep them in the fuckin' house so they can shit on the fuckin'
furniture and all that stupid fuckin' shit. I HATE POODLES! MAY THEY ALL DIE!
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2-Worthless Merchandise
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Easy to get in,
but much harder to get out,
Chinese fingertrap.
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3-Texas Toast
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Those damned Texans think they're special. Say everything's bigger in Texas do
they? So they have to make their toast bigger? Have you ever saw Texas Ham? Is
it any bigger than regular ham? If they're gonna make their bread bigger then
they should make everything that goes with bread bigger too. Is their peanut
butter and jelly bigger? How 'bout sliced turkey? Fuck you Texas. If you think
you're so goddamned special why don't you revolt from the union and make your
own goddamned country? But then you'd be a small country instead of a big state
and you just couldn't cope with that could you? Idiots. Screw you all.
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