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:J.A.T.Z. --- Jatz Ain't a Text Zine                             Edited by Tann:
:                           Issue #008                                         :
:                           An Ode to Trilobyte               November 19, 2004:
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1-An Ode to Trilobyte
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trilobyte, oh trilobyte,
why art thou so goddamned krazi,
did thou eat goat shit,
or did thou eat airgun pellets,
why oh why trilobyte,
why art thou so fuckin' krazi,
did you hit thy head,
did thy have a labotomy,
thou art so krazi,
it makes me jealous,
you krazi sonofabitch,
i hope you have a flat,
a flat tire that is,
several of them,
for all I care,
as time passes on,
trilobyte will remain,
eternally krazi...
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2-Trilobyte Biography
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See, Trilobyte was born in Egypt. His parents taught him to make clay pots and
stuff. T-byte, as his closest friends called him, was loved by all who met him.
Actually, they mostly felt sorry for poor T-byte, because they thought he had
some serious brain problems. As a boy, he refused to use toilets. He preferred
to shit in his hand and then throw it at anyone in his path. They finally signed
him into a krazi house and they put him on a lot of tranks. T-byte had a great
time on the meds, but he would still shit in his hand and throw it at people.
Then along came a miracle, Dr. Nordon. Nordon worked with the lunatic idiot
T-byte for a year or so and he finally quit throwing his shit at people. It was
a remarkable step indeed. So remarkable in fact, they let him become a janitor
at the monastery. T-byte loved mopping up other people's piss. He liked finding
pencils and pens and used condoms and other stuff that people would so foolish-
ly throw down on the floor. I recall when T-byte found a gelly pen, the kind
that write so cool and all, it was by Unigel if my memory serves me. Anyways,
T-byte was so damned excited about that gelly pen that he went running down 
stairs and screaming his good fortune to all those within earshot. He fell down
24 flights of stairs and had some mild trauma to the head. Apparently, it was
enough to send poor ole T-byte back off the deep-end. He started shitting in his
hand and throwing it at people again. He became uphappy with the quality of his
shit so he started eating polk salad 3 times a day and in quantities in excess
of 4 pounds or so per meal. He started shitting a LOT. He would also crush up
Ex-Lax tabs and blend them with his cranberry juice. So he was slingin' green
nasty shit all over the goddamned place. Everyone decided T-byte was a witch
so they locked him up with a bunch of Hogs of Entropy. And he lived happily ever
fuckin' after, eatin' polk, ex-lax, throwin' shit on people, and writing some
neat stuff that doesn't suck like newborn babies on their mother's goddamned
breasts.
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3-Ouch
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I was drinkin' water,
the happy kind of water,
so I fell down some stairs,
and it felt ungood,
and then I noticed,
the blood gushing,
straight from my neck,
so I went to the cabinet,
and got a band-aid,
ouch motherfucker, ouch.
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